The Bow-chelor: Doggy Style - Episode 5

Well, my friends, it's that date you've all been waiting for...my date with none other than Lacie!!! She was back Stateside this weekend, before heading back to London to supervise Jackson's post-operative care. (Tomorrow is his big surgery—we're all here for you, pal!)

Now, when planning a date with Lacie, I had to keep the girl in mind...big personality...adventuresome...bold...and perhaps...a little bit scary. Ehh, I mean, dangerous! Yes, that's it...dangerous!

Where else could I take her but to....CONEY ISLAND!!!!!

Under the boardwalk, adventures by the seaside and all that! We started the day with some beach time, so Lacie could enhance those golden bronze curls of hers....

Lacie chose this spot beside the rather large lady in the blue swimming suit. (I'm behind her. With Baby Stan, who came to drop off Lacie. And Stanley, who was in town to see Asta.)

Lacie was adorable in her pink bikini. However, due to problems with the top riding up, some policemen told us to move along..."This is a family beach, after all!"

No problem...It was the day of the famous Coney Island Mermaid Parade, an annual summertime celebration!

Naturally, we had to join in this celebration of fantasy and dogbauchery!  

Lacie made a beautiful mermaid...

And I was her Merman...although Lacie told me she thought I looked more like Ethel Merman...

None the less, we were chosen as King Puptune and his Queen and rode on a float, waving to the astonished throngs... We would have continued on to the end of the parade route, had Lacie not spotted this sign...

"Hey Petey," she said with a snarl, errr, I mean, a smile, "I double dog dare you to enter the Hotdog Eating Contest! What's a skinny Japanese guy and a 300-lb. giant got on you, little man?" She rubbed her paws in glee. 

So I went for it...

And you'll never guess...I WON!!!

It was a tremendous upset. And guess what the prize was? MORE HOTDOGS!!!

Afterwards, Lacie looked over at me and my bulging belly and said, "Let's go on the Wonder Wheel and see if they can make it go extra fast! C'mon, it'll be fun!!!"

Remembering my unfortunate motion-sickness on my date with Asta Marie, I deferred, suggesting we try out some of the gentler rides first...

We had a wonderful time on the little boats...

(Don't their smiles remind you of Lacie's pearly whites?)

Then we took to the air in the flying bumblebee...I've always been partial to bees every since I was Sting last year for Halloween... Wheee!

This date was going GREAT!!!

"Enough of this kiddie stuff," said Lacie, "I want some real action!"

So we headed over to the arcade.

I kept catching the balls instead of throwing them...
But Lacie did a terrific job! She knocked out all the Pac-Man and the red-haired lady!

Ouch. These poor doggies have had 100 shots. Wonder who bit them?

"Let's go ride through the haunted house, Petey!" squealed Lacie.

Looking at the bared fangs, I suddenly had a flashback of an incident involving Dewey and involuntarily shivered....
But I had nothing to worry about! I just made sure that Lacie had a big box of saltwater taffy to keep those jaws busy and not snapping at me!

Finally, we headed to the renowned Cyclone roller coaster!!!

At first I was afraid that we'd be too short to go on it...

But then Lacie had the great idea to stand on my shoulders...we just made it!

Reluctantly, we handed over our cornshanks and bones...and were given the very first seat!!!

It was so thrilling...and Lacie hadn't so much as nipped me...I had to ask the question...

LAAACCCCIIIEEEEEE...will you.....

ACCCCEEEEPPPPTTTT  this ROOOOOSSSSSEEEEE????

I couldn't hear her answer, what the wind, the rumble of the roller coaster and her mouthful of saltwater taffy, but all in all, I thought it was an excellent date!

Now...to await her response.....

Postscript: The fair Lacie has said she will indeed accept my rose, if I place it gently between her teeth! Apparently her brothers have wagers as to whether I will survive, err, succeed.

I'm ready, Lacie!

Kudos and a bouquet of roses to Asta's Mommi Ami whose incredible photography skills have made these dates come to life! My most chewed up tennis ball is all yours in gratitude. Petey