Saturday, August 23, 2008

All by myself, don't wanna be, all by myself...anymore!!!

Well, it's been three days since Lacie left me to run back to Archie. I kinda thought I might hear something from her. An announcement of their upcoming nuptials (now that it is clear he is NOT joining an order of monks. Monkeys, maybe.) An apology for leaving me so suddenly without so much as a "see ya, chump!" Or even a snarl...

I spent the morning looking back at happier times...

Then I thought, "Petey my man, you've got to pull yourself together." Actually, that was what Mica said. He was tired of me wallowing around on the couch and wanted his favorite napping spot back.
So I high-tailed it over to Canine Styles and got myself a slick new hairdo. (Hee, mine cost $5 MORE than Mommy's!)  Don't I look nice? Even if it does look like my tail is now growing out of my head? Maybe Lacie left me for Archie because he has that polished show dog look. I'd show her the handsomeness behind the scruff.

Hey look! They even have a topiary outside that looks just like me! And once the ivy starts growing, it will look like me before I got stripped!

I was walking home down Bleecker Street, and even the store windows seemed to be mocking my failure at romance. Look at this one! It even has a handbag with a scene of Paris, mocking my one date as boyfriend and girlfriend with Lacie to France.

And then I saw this! 

A perfect Lacie. Portable, quiet, defanged. And unable to run away at a moment's notice. I couldn't tell if she had eyes, but if she did, she'd only have eyes for me.

I was all set to run into the store and buy her, when something stopped me in my tracks.

It was the memory of a little white and brown girl I'd just met at the dog run. Warm brown eyes, a love for chasing tennis balls. She didn't nip or growl at me, just wagged her little puppy tail. She didn't even complain when I gave her a cursory sniff. In fact, she sniffed me right back.

She was... BIANCA.

Puppy shots behind her and already to play with the big doggies. And no bad "flirting" habits yet. Hmmm, this might work out just fine after all. 

Good luck Archie and...I'm sorry, what was your name again?...oh yes! Lacie!

I'll be headed out to Las Vegas with my pack in a few days, but when I get back... 

"Well, Bianca, have you ever cruised the canals of Venice in a gondola?"

NOTE TO ASTA: By the way, I am NOT "one of those dogs." I was just deeply wounded by your so-called nurse friend (Isn't there a nurse's creed about "you will inflict no harm?") and need to get away from all the dating drama for a while and just be a boy dog with my mates. Scratch ourselves freely, groom our private parts in public, fart without apology. I don't know if girls get it.

Why don't you rally the bitches, errr, girl dogs and have a pajama party? Watch "When Hairy Met Sally," paint your claws, and do each other's hair. I think Mommy may still have some facial masks you can use.



29 comments:

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Petey...Petey...

Ah Man....

Lacie went into seclusion on Friday...she won't eat, drink, blend or giggle. She just sits on the sofa with the afghan over her head and stares vacantly into the distance. She's been studying some for a hooge nursie test comin' up...but not with her usual zing or zest. More importantly, she won't even flirt!!

Frankly, Babystan and I find the last behavior the most disturbing.

Just so...unlacielike...

Well...Stan looks like he needs to "go"...um...he hasn't "gone" yet today. I think it has something to do with the fact that when Mumsie picked up her "diamond mining kit"...tongue blade, gloves and poop bag...he took one look, tucked his tail and SAT! He wouldn't get off his large Dale posterior for the rest of the day.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho...to the diamond mines we go......

Barkin' at ya man...

Scruffy

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Petey...sniff, sob, wail...

Petey...cry, cry, cry...

Petey...

I'm sorry...so sorry...I mean Archie tricked me and...and Gussie needs nursing care....and Noah has to have someone moniter his medications or he's in pain....

But...I totally screwed up, Petey. I made you saddest, and that's not like me.

I just don't think I'm ready to settle down with one boyfriend yet.

I hope we can still be friends...and that cactus is bootiful....and well....I'd still like to see you if you're not too mad at me...

AS FOR ARCHIE...I AM GONNA SKIN THAT DOG ALIVE WHEN I SEE HIM...er...I mean...Archie and I need to have a small conversation....

Barkies, Sweet Petey....

A older and wiser Lacie

Pee Ess...You look HOT in that new haircut...

Lorenza said...

Hi, Petey!
Your look so handsome with your new haircut!
Bianca is beautiful!
Have a talk to her when you come back from Vegas and let us know how it goes, ok?
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Noah the Airedale said...

Oh dear Peter, you sound so sad but we think Bianca will be good for you....you know, stable and all that. A boy needs stability in a girlfriend.

tailwags
Noah
ps. Lacie really does help me out with my meds. She's a great gal too.

Alasandra said...

Bianca seems much more suitable then errrr ..... whatever her name was. Bianca is a real doll and has a very pretty name. ~Socks, Scylla & Charybdis

Eric said...

Hey Petey, looking good pal. Nice spit and polish you got there. Only $5 more than Moms? That's Value. You didn't have the tail re-alinement this time though I see? Mine tail does that at all the time. Don't you just hate that when it happenss?

Now I'm wagging pleased Mica whiskered some sense to you and oooooohhhhh...Bianca ....couldn't you just drown in those eyes?

I have a sneaky suspicion we could be returning to Vegas sometime in the future for a real stag party....

Wags, Eric

Sunny,Scooter,Jamie said...

Bianca is beautiful. She is very young and impressionable, so be careful Petey. Take it from one who knows (this is Scooter here). These girls are very sweet and naive and get serious in a nanosecond. Be sure you are willing to settle down-for GOOD!
I need to go to the next all boy trip. I DO love the bitc-er ladies!

(Sunny refuses to dignify any of that with any comment)

Hugs all around
Sunny, Scooter and Jamie (the Mom who taught him the best she could...)

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Petey...mumsie wants to know how much that Lakie was in the store??? Have her peemail her at kreitm@gmail.com...

BTW...no diamonds yet....

Long long weekend...

Scruffman

Jackson said...

Hey Petey, lookin' good pal, even if it does look like your tail is growing out of your head!
Lacie's a blast but perhaps Bianca is the right girl for you...J x

The Taylor CatSSSSS said...

Hi Petey! I waned to stop by and see you. I would love to meet you next time I am in town to visit Sloane. I had such fun with Asta and she told me all about you. Maybe I could be your Auntie Deb too??? Have a great Sunday!!!!!

Gucci said...

Peteyboy!

I think we blog on the same lappytops.

iBook G4, right??


What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. ;]

xxxoo.
gucci.

Abby said...

Hi, Petey...

You look sooo handsome with your new haircut...

Abby xxxooo

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Petey...Thank you for forgiving me...I love those Forget Me Nots...I think they're the first thing you've given me that doesn't draw blood...I can get my snoot in there and sniff and not get scratched or eaten!

Petey, of course I loved you and still do, you silly boy! How could a girl NOT love you...

I fear, I am after all a....

FLAKY LAKIE....

Love and kissies...Laciegirl

Amber-Mae said...

Wow! You look great after your makeover! Now I think Lacie will want to be with you a little longer...Hehehe!

Butt wiggles,
Solid Gold Dancer

Daisy said...

Ah, Petey, what's a boy to do? I think Bianca is very cute. Maybe you should just have fun playing the field for a while. You will know when it is right!

AB clan said...

Petey with your new look, Bianca should be affected.
ViVi & AB

Chef said...

Petey, sounds like a good idea to hang with the guys for a while doing what we guys do. You need a break - really. These girls'll sometimes get under your furs and mess you up. Bianca's a possibility... cute, innocent, nice snout. But later, man.

xox
Chef

Joe Stains said...

I saw over on Eric's blog the way Lacie was riding that ferris wheel backwards showing off her behind. You are better off my man. We will have a great time in Vegas, but I am wondering if we should send Tanner to the pajama party?

Agatha and Archie said...

Petey,Petey Petey,My dear boy,You must stop pining for her( Do like I did and watch some baseball with popcorn) She is just not ready for a one time boy( myself included it appears) I say VEGAS BABY!!!!!!! and lets forget all about these bitches!!(said only in the nicest doggy meaning of course) Love Archie

the 4 Bs said...

wow Petey, such big drama for a little dog. we confirmed bachelors just are plain happy - fartin', belchin', sniffin' butts, scratching our privates - are you sure you don't want to join us? it's a dogs' life, we tell you.

woofs.

happy said...

You look really handsome in your new haircut, Petey. Guess love takes time, huh?

Biggie-Z said...

Wow, a regular soap opera here. Are you sure you want to run off to Vegas? Looks like Lacie is being fickle!

Toffee said...

...Riley's all packed for Vegas...I have even given him some $1 bills for the ladies...heh heh

winner winner chicken dinner
(ummm we just saw the movie "21" last night)

Deefor said...

Put those blues behind you. You look fabulous with your tail growing out of your head. How'd they do that? Bianca looks very cute and intense. We'll forget our troubles in Vegas.

Deefor

Girl Girl Hamster said...

Oh... your new girlfriend looks really cute. I hope this time it works out well

~ Girl girl

Deetz said...

Hi Petey
Thank you so much for giving me your favorite tennis ball....That was very very sweet of you.
Great big paw huggies to you
You can have any of my toys that you want, if you want any of em..you can...I will let you have them all
Deetzy

Gus said...

Dear Petey: My uncle Al used to say, "Unlucky at love, Lucky at Cards." So I sure hope you know how to play poker. Or something else in Vegas.

Thanks for the good wishes

gussie

Mango said...

I think you should steer clear of those terrier gals. They are just way too unpredictable.

Slobbers,
Mango

Stanley said...

Hey, Petey Man!

I think the Bianca Girl might be more your speed, buddy. She sounds to me like she's a little more ready for a relationship with a fine pup such as yourself, and she obviously has good taste to recognize a stud. Plus she has plenty of pluck ~ she sniffed you right back and gave as good as she got WITHOUT threatening bodily harm. What more could a dog ask for?

I've been having a blast with you in Vegas, but wanted to sneak back to let you know that I think you've turned the corner and are heading back down the love path, man!

Goober love,
Stanley